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TALES OF NEMO, THE OCEANEER - by Gordon Green

 
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Gord Green
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Joined: 06 Oct 2014
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Location: Buffalo, NY

PostPosted: Fri Sep 02, 2016 3:22 pm    Post subject: TALES OF NEMO, THE OCEANEER - by Gordon Green Reply with quote

This is a segment of a story I wrote about 16 years ago for a long defunct fanfic site. give it a look and let me know your thought. It's pure fantasy anyway.

TALES OF NEMO, THE OCEANEER
NORTH ATLANTIC, TWO MILES DEEP

It was a day of celebration in the capital city of sunken Atlantis. The parade wended its way through the golden spires of the majestic crystal city, past cyclopean walls of monolithic stone and statues of ancient god-kings frozen in mid pose.

Chariot sledges drawn by matched giant sea horses preceded by a phalanx of gold clad trumpeters drew up to the reviewing stand and stopped beneath the Window of Appearance.

One gold trimmed chariot separated from the others and a glittering form stepped out of it. A pale skinned young man strode up the long staircase to the cheers of the assembled throngs of blue skinned Atlanteans.

He ascended the red carpeted incline and stopped before the carved crystal throne at the apex. As he knelt before the throne a regal figure rose and cast off his scarlet cloak.

"We greet you, cousin Nemo!" the Sub-Mariner intoned. "And bestow our thanks to you for the defeat of the Lemurian invaders who attempted to invade our realm!"

Namor the Sub-Mariner stepped down from the dais and loomed over the kneeling young warrior. "Raise yourself up Prince Nemo and receive the thanks of a grateful nation!" The assembled crowd broke out in a tumultuous roar as the young man turned to face them.

"And to think I used to call you Subbie!" Namor whispered under his breath. "You've grown into a true Prince of the Blood!"

"My Lord," the young warrior began, "I live to serve the realm, and I pledge my service to you. The Lemurian hordes are in defeat and the Realm Imperious is now unthreatened." Prince Nemo rose and looked into Namor's face. He sensed that there was more to come from his liege.

"The day will come," Namor continued, "when you shall sit upon the throne of Atlantis! You have accomplished much, but . . . there is one more task to be performed by you!"

Nemo looked at Namor and cocked his head to one side. "And what is your wish my Lord?" he asked.

"Prince Nemo," Namor paused, "you must learn about the world above the waves. I know that you have had some contact in your youth with the surface dwellers, but, as I have learned, there is much that has changed. It is my reward to you that I send you into exile!"

Nemo was shocked.

Was it to be his reward for his sacrifice and loyalty that he be separated from his home and the only family he knew in the Royal Court?

Namor smiled, "No, my young Prince, this is not an exile of banishment. You are welcome in the Court anytime you wish. I know from my own experience that there is much to learn among the surface dwellers..... and they can be quite amusing. You will soon enough be ready to wear the jeweled crown of Atlantis!"

Nemo nodded.

"I understand my Lord." Slowly he removed the war helm from his head. His regal features were once more revealed. He greatly resembled his Lord Namor as he was in his youth. His long handsome face tapered to a pointed chin and his eyebrows arched over his large, clear eyes.

His well-formed ears culminated in sharp points and his dark black hair was close cropped above a widow's peak.

He slid off the gilded breastplate and unbuckled the broad sword belt at his slim waist.

He stood before his lord clad only in a pair of black scaled briefs. The small white wings upon his ankles fluttered in the deep-sea water.

"I know not where I shall go or what I shall do, but if it is my Lords wish I shall go to the outer world."

Namor clasped his hands upon Nemo's shoulders.

"If I remember my own experiences, I think it shall not be long before adventure finds you!"

Nemo bowed low before Namor, and upon straightening he rose into the dark ocean above Atlantis. The lights of the royal city soon faded and the darkness of the ocean took over. Prince Nemo swam to the west and to his destiny.


THE NORTH ATLANTIC

Nemo was going to one of his favorite places. It had only been a few cycles since he had left the spires of Atlantis behind on the command of his Lord Namor, and he was in need of a place to rest and think.

Looming before him, the prow of the sunken ship rose from the ocean floor. He slipped into the broken hull and slid through the ruined corridors of the huge vessel.

After many twists and turns he found himself in a large empty space. Stretching from the top of the space to the murky bottom was a grand ornate staircase, encrusted with barnacles and sea sediment, but still trimmed in brass and crystal, reflecting the opulence that it once had displayed. Orange stalactites plunged like daggers of rust into the heart of the vessel.

Nemo could sense some of the richness of the surface dwellers reflected in the ornaments of this ship, TITANIC.

Some of the decorations even reminded him of the art of his homeplace. He floated over to the remains of an intricately carved brassbound chair, preserved by the cold Atlantic seawater and the low oxygen content at this great depth.

He closed his eyes and let his mind drift with the deep-sea currents.

He missed his home in the Royal court of Atlantis. It had been his only home for as long as he could remember.

He had been just a swaddling infant when his father brought him to the charge of the Royal Nursery. He was raised by the women of the Emperor's Harem along with their own children, all Princes and Princesses of the Realm Imperious.

But they never let it be forgotten that he was a hsu'bay, a hybrid, a mix breed mongrel. His father had been a hsu'bay as well, part Atlantean and part Human, only in his case he bore the further stigmata of the name of the clone.

He bore the same name as his father and was known in the Court as Nemo the Younger, but those who had fought beside him in the Lemurian Campaigns knew him as Nemo the Oceaneer, as he was a master of the oceans.

He had been brought to the court during Namor's long absence, and so he was a young man when Namor had returned to take the crown.

Unlike his father he did not bear the stigma of the clone and was at least tolerated by his Lord.

There were many things that visited the sins of the father upon the son, but the taboo of the clone was not one of them. It was so rare an occurrence and the offspring of a clone was something that had never happened.

Nemo himself, being the offspring of a clone of Prince Namor and a human, was an incomprehensible puzzle.

In fact, that the clone of a hybrid was not sterile was thought to be impossible. He was a mystery and a source of wonder.

Nemo the Younger was accepted as a Royal Cousin. He was, after all, genetically the grandson of the Sub-Mariner in actuality, if not in title.

In his accomplishments, at least, he found acceptance.

It was unfortunate that these honors could not have been visited upon his father as well. He never deserved his dark fate.

But that is another story for another time.

Nemo the Younger had to earn the respect of his liege, and earn it he did, through hard work and his dedication to his lord.

He advanced rapidly in the service of the Realm Imperious to become the First Tribune of the Emperors Legions. In spite of his questionable parentage, he found himself high in the line of succession to the Atlantean Throne!

As a youth young Nemo the Younger had been secretly visited by his father and he had been thrilled by his tales of his adventures above the waves.

Like his father he had been mocked by the other children of the nursery and called a "Subbie", a corruption of the Atlantean term "Hsu-bay". He could barely remember his father telling him stories about his mother. She had been a surface dweller who had stolen his father's heart and sealed his banishment from his people.

Nemo did not remember his mother: he had been taken from her so many years ago that he could no longer see her face or hear her voice in his mind. He had never known her name. That she was a woman of great renown and powers in the upper world he was aware, but the details were a fog in his memory.

She was as dark a mystery to him as the deep dark caves of the ocean depths.

Ah, but that was so long ago, and his world had changed now.

His Lord, Prince Namor, had commanded him to go to the surface world as he had his father before him. He had no idea what he would find.

Perhaps he could fill in some of the blanks in his earliest memories.

Suddenly , Nemo was snapped from his meditation by a bright light shining into his face!

His eyes snapped open and there before him was a huge metallic robot waving its armored claws at him while its great shining eye beamed in his face, blinding him! It moved towards him menacingly!

Nemo had fought devices like this before. He had single handedly defeated the war androids of Attuma, the renegade Warlord of Lemuria, when he had led his Legions against them!

Nemo shot out at the robot, engulfing himself in the hydraulic claws of the beast. He tore the arms from their mechanical sockets: streams of hydraulic fluid spilling from the ruined joints like black clots of blood! He tore the bright electric eye from the front of the device and ripped the wires apart that connected it!

His great strength crushed the tubular body of the robot device. The automaton stopped moving. Nemo tore the cable from the rear of the robot and watched it slowly sink to the murky depths of the staircase.

Nemo was triumphant!


TWO MILES ABOVE, ON THE SURFACE

James Cameron tore the headphones from his head.

"God Damn it, the picture from the submersible camera just went black! Whats going on here?"

He turned to his crew. "Time is money here people!"

The team of assistant directors and the rest of the film crew on ' RETURN TO THE TITANIC' scurried in all directions aboard the Russian ship Keldish.

"Jim, I don't know how to tell you this, but. . . ." one of the crew said.

"Come on , spit it out man! We didn't have these problems the first time we filmed here! What's the story? I want answers NOW! " Jim yelled, not at all patient about the delay.

He spat out orders to the film crew. "I want to see playback, now! Get the camera back on board, MOVE!"

"I've got playback now, Jim, look at this!" the Assistant Director called, gesturing at a video screen. On the flickering screen the figure of a man was vaguely visible.

The man was clad in only a pair of briefs in depths that would crush any human diver. His face was only partially visible in the murky beam of the submersibles spotlight.

"Looks like that Sub-Mareener guy, the one that hangs with the Avengers, and he's ripping apart our submersible camera!" The Assistant said.

"I had my fill with these hero types when we filmed the Spider-Man movie. Remember how the real Spider-Man went ape when we cast DiCaprio in his part? He refused to do the stunts as we had contracted. Maybe this Sub-Mareen guy doesn't want us filming on HIS Titanic!"

James Cameron went over to the bank of ship to shore radios.

"Get on the horn pronto! I want the Avengers here to take care of one of theirs!"


Last edited by Gord Green on Sun Nov 20, 2016 11:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Bud Brewster
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Joined: 14 Dec 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 05, 2016 11:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

________________________________

My congratulations, Gord!

You delivered a wealth of complex information about the characters and the setting. All that data might have overwhelmed the reader if you hadn't compartmentalized the concepts using paragraphs in a masterful way.

The dialog, too, was organized in a manner that writers have learned to use and readers have come to understand, making it easy for them to keep the characters straight in their minds.

The descriptions were rich and colorful, painting glorious word pictures for the reader. You blended dialog and description skillfully. You "wrote in HD", just the way I taught my elementary school students for years!

In short, you used the time-honored conventions of writing to successfully make your story a joy to read. If you hadn't, it would have just been a hodge-podge of text, difficult to wade through, confusing at best — a chore to read, rather than a pleasure.

A well-formatted manuscript is like the table in an operating room that holds the surgeon's tools — carefully arranged and logically organized for easy access. The tools are necessary to perform an important task, and they're arranged in the best way to do the job well.

A poorly organized manuscript is like a kitchen "junk drawer", filled with all the crap you toss into it. Finding what you need in that drawer takes more time than it should. Digging around in it is frustrating.

Reading a story is supposed to be enjoyable — not frustrating.

You demonstrated that a "story" isn't just the words, it's also the way the words are organized and arranged on the page, helping the reader make sense of the settings, the characters, the dialog, and the complex concepts. In a way, the spaces and the pacing can say as much to the reader as the words do. You can emphasize an important point just by adding a line break and isolating a sentence. Like this:

The formatting of a manuscript is just as important as the words.

If the two don't work together, the "story" doesn't work at all.

Good job! Very Happy

The English Teacher

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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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