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So, I went to the eye doctor . . .
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Bud Brewster
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Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2022 12:01 pm    Post subject: Chirs Hannibal - My Favorite Trick Reply with quote

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This guy is hystrical. Laughing


___________ My Favorite Trick - Chris Hannibal


__________



________ Second Oldest Trick in Sleight of Hand


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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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scotpens
Starship Captain


Joined: 19 Sep 2014
Posts: 871
Location: The Left Coast

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2022 10:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bud Brewster wrote:
Do all men named John feel a sense of dread every time they get a letter from their wives or girlfriends? Confused

After all, these letters will always start with the same two chilling words. Shocked


"Dear John . . . "

If a guy's wife ran off with a tractor salesman, would he get a John Deere letter? Wink
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Bud Brewster
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Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2022 5:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Allow me to prove the power of logic, folks. Cool

Nobody can logically prove the existence of God. Right?

However, I can logically prove that everybody believes in the existence of God — even the atheist!

Here's how.

We all know that atheists aren't afraid they'll be punished for doing bad things, because they don't believe in Hell. And since lying is a bad thing, they don't mind doing it.

Therefore, atheist are notorious liars. Sad

Obviously, if you ask an atheist if he believes in God, he'll say NO. But since atheists are notorious liars, he obviously DOES believe in God! Shocked

It's simple logic, folks. I rest my case . . . Rolling Eyes

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____________
Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)


Last edited by Bud Brewster on Sat Jul 16, 2022 10:27 am; edited 2 times in total
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Bud Brewster
Galactic Fleet Admiral (site admin)


Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2022 9:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

_______________________________________________

Starship captain to his First Officer: Welcome back, Number One. Did the away team determine if the dog-like aliens on the planet below have anything in common with humans?

First Officer: Actually, we did, Sir.

Captain: What, for example?

First Officer: Well, we learned that when these super-intelligent quadrupedal canines make love . . . they do it in the missionary position! Shocked


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_________________
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)


Last edited by Bud Brewster on Fri Jul 29, 2022 1:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Bud Brewster
Galactic Fleet Admiral (site admin)


Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2022 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

__________________________________________________

I heard that a lovely blond went to a neurosurgeon and asked him if it was possible to transplant a brain into a healthy body. He told her that a new procedure had been perfected so that elderly people with failing organs could enjoy longer lives.

But he asked the young lady why she wanted to know about brain transplants. After all, she was both young and perfectly healthy.

The blond smiled, crossed her shapely legs, and said —



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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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Bud Brewster
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Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2022 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

________________________________________________

A wise man once said —

Being the "smartest person in the room" is only good if the other people are smart enough to give you an intelligent conversation.

Otherwise, you're just stuck in a room full of dimwits.


I'm sure we've all felt that way sometimes. Rolling Eyes

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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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tmlindsey
Mission Specialist


Joined: 18 Jul 2022
Posts: 409
Location: NW Florida

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2022 8:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bud Brewster wrote:
Being the "smartest person in the room" is only good if the other people are smart enough to give you an intelligent conversation.

Otherwise, you're just stuck in a room full of dimwits.

Story of my (most recent) professional life for 11 years Confused

Me by 8:45am every day from 2005-2016...



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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?"
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Pow
Galactic Ambassador


Joined: 27 Sep 2014
Posts: 3400
Location: New York

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2022 1:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's a tip for keeping those pesky Halloween trick or treaters from coming to your house.

Answer your door naked.

Oh look, here come some more trick or treaters to the door and this time they're dressed as policemen.
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Bud Brewster
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Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2022 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

__________
_________________
____________
Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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Pow
Galactic Ambassador


Joined: 27 Sep 2014
Posts: 3400
Location: New York

PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2022 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All right! Hydra will fall because if Agent Orange/Don the Con's in charge it'll collapse and fail like all his other business ventures.
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trekriffic
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Joined: 19 Feb 2015
Posts: 593

PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2022 7:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pow wrote:
All right! Hydra will fall because if Agent Orange/Don the Con's in charge it'll collapse and fail like all his other business ventures.

But as Trump will decree, it will be SPECTACULAR!
The BIGGEST, GREATEST collapse of ALL TIME, EVER!
AND EVERYONE HAD BETTER AGREE WITH HIM… or else…
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Bud Brewster
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Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2022 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

__________________________________________________

The Superhero Blues!

If you think being a superhero is all "glory and glamour", think again! Shocked
__________________________________________________

~ What it the Flash got arthritis in this knees?

~ What it Batman suddenly developed vertigo?

~ What if Aquaman developed hydrocephalus? (Water on the brain!)

~ What if Green Lantern accidentally used his ring . . . while it was turned around backwards!

~ What if Wonder Woman got tangled up in her Lasso of Truth and somebody asked her what her secret identify was?
__________________________________________________

Anyone want to add a few more ideas? How 'bout the Marvel superheroes!

_________________
____________
Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)


Last edited by Bud Brewster on Sat Feb 11, 2023 3:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Bud Brewster
Galactic Fleet Admiral (site admin)


Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2023 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

____________________________________________________________________

Bud's Invisible Riddles!

~ What would you call a large arctic canivor who is prone to mood swings?

Highlight the invisible text between the words "Answer".

Answer — A Bi-Polar Bear — Answer
_____________________________________________

~ What would you get if a newly enlisted service man fell into a wood chipper? Sad

Highlight the invisible text between the words "Answer".

Answer — Private Parts — Answer
_____________________________________________

~ What animal literally wouldn't survive if it didn't succeed in getting laid! Twisted Evil

Highlight the invisible text between the words "Answer".

Answer — An Egg — Answer

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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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Bud Brewster
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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2023 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote



I love Westerns! And so did my Dad when I was growing up in the 50s and 60s!





But one thing about the Hollywood depiction of Native Americans I object to is the way they took the actual Indian names of the characters and translated them into English! Embarassed

For example the real name of "Sitting Bull" is Lakota Tatanka Iyotake! Cool

That's a beautiful name, and I resent the fact that Hollywood demeaned the Native Americans in those classic Westerns by making all the Indian characters have simplistic names like "Dark Cloud", and "Gray Wolf",and "Running Bear", and "Little White Dove" — who loved Running Bear, if you remember that highly sentimental (and popular) song from 1959!

And yes, guys . . . I still own the 45 rpm record.
Rolling Eyes

Running Bear Little White Dove Lyrics (Johnny Preston)


___________


So, with that in mind, here's a few humorous suggestions for Hollywood "Indian" names which are no less ridiculous than the ones used in those classic Westerns.
_____________________________________________

Chief Sitting Bull and his lovely wife, Sitting Pretty, plus their son who never told the truth, Sitting Bullshit

Chief Crazy Horse and his brother Chief Sweating Horse

Two Cheyenne braves: Running Bear and his allergy-prone brother, Running Nose

Three Apache braves: Walking Stick, Hiking Trail, and Dancing Fool

Four Sue warriors: Leaping Lizard, Jumping Jacks, Prancing Deer, and Hopping Mad

Two tribal leather craftsmen: Tanning Hides and his brother, Tanning Bed

Two famous Medicine Men: Hacking Cough and Drooling Idiot

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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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Bud Brewster
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Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2023 11:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

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I can't resist adding a few more humorous Indians names! I hope you guys will get a giggle out of this. Cool

Big Hunting Moose – A brave who was so fond of moose meat that he practically decimated the moose population in the area. Shocked

Little Eager Beaver - An attractive young Indian maiden who’s very popular with the young braves. Wink

Chief Straight Arrow – A sarcastic name for a beloved but elderly tribal leader whose failing eyesight preventing him being able to hit the broad side of a tee-pee. Rolling Eyes

Knocking Knees - A not-so-brave Brave who’s terrified when faced by the enemy.

Chief Lazy Horse – Brother of the famous Chief Crazy Horse . . . but considerably less ambitious! Rolling Eyes

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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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