ALL SCI-FI

[Bud Brewster]

Well, here we go again — and to quote Han Solo, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Maybe it's just me, but the Indian Jones series has wandered further and further from its original premise with each of it's sequels. By the time we got to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull it bore as much resemblance to Raiders of the Lost Art as The Witched Witch of the West did to Marilyn Monroe!

And this fifth Indy movie might be one step further . . . God help us all.

Here's what Wikipedia says about it.
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In 1969, American archaeologist and adventurer Indiana Jones lives against the backdrop of the Space Race.

Jones is uneasy over the fact that the U.S. Government recruited former enemies to help beat the Soviet Union in the competition to make it to space. His goddaughter, Helena, accompanies him on his journey.

Meanwhile, Voller, a NASA member and ex-Nazi involved with the moon-landing program, wishes to make the world into a better place as he sees fit.
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Well, damn!

Instead of paying tribute to the beloved serials of our youth the way Raiders of the Lost Ark did, this movie wants to spoil our fond memories of America's space program in the 1960s!

Obviously, today's filmmakers have no real understanding of what made Raiders of the Lost Ark successful, forty years ago. They were too young to connect with the original film's roots.

So, these people are cobbling together elements of the franchise and pasting them into a story which is set several decades after Raiders of the Lost Ark.

This is what we get when they take a big pot and toss in characters like Indy and his goddaughter, along with Nazis and Russians and NASA and the 1960s space race!

All of sudden The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn't seem quite as bad!

On the other hand, the trailer below is a dazzling montage of scenes which promise a movie that couldn't possibly be dull!

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny | Official Trailer


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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[tmlindsey]

Saw it today in an actual movie theater stuck in one of the smaller screen rooms with maybe 10 other old farts.

We felt that the movie was fairly decent but way too long.

Don't want to spoil anything in case others here are waiting to see it.

A fine enough send off for a series that, frankly, should have ended with The Last Crusade.

I hope this is truly the end for Indy, modern filmmakers don't seem to fully understand the serials these movies were inspired by, including the director of this one.
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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?"

[Bud Brewster]

[tmlindsey]

So I guess no one else has seen the film?
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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?"

[tmlindsey]

Clearly a film that didn't need to exist since hardly any fans could be arsed enough to actually watch it.

I wish Disney would implode so they couldn't crank out so much crap. I think they are mostly responsible for creating the wide-spread audience apathy we obviously have now.
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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?"

[Bud Brewster]

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I'm sure I'll eventually watch it just out of morbid curiosity, but I'm in no hurry. It's too bad Disny hasn't hire me to write wackadoodle stories for them, 'cause I've got a great idea for a sixth Indiana Jones move!

What do you think of this?
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Dr. Jones learns that the Russian's have cloned his childhood pet (the dog which he and his father called Indiana), and they've mutated it into a seven-foot Big Foot-like creature who understands English, but speaks in strange growls.

Indy goes to Russia and rescues the clone of his beloved pet, but during the escape Indy is captured. The Russian scientist encase him a newly invented metallic substance called Caronitesky.

Marion Ravenwood-Jones disguises herself as a visiting alien from the space-between-spaces and pretends to be returning the dog-creature (whose name is Whookowski) to the Russians.

One night she releases Indy from the Caronitesky, and the trio escape in a prototype Russian space craft called the Тысячелетний Cокол (which loosely translated means "thousand-year-old bird of prey".)

Upon returning home they learn that their son, Mutt Williams (played again by Shia LaBeouf) has become an evil villain who dresses in black and wears a strange helmet. He's similar to Victor Von Doom, and he's declared himself to be Latverian royalty. He goes by the name Count Kylo Von Renegade.

He's skilled is the black arts which come from The Dark Side of Archeology.

Indy finally faces his rebellious son and tries to convince him to return to the light side of Archeology, but Count Von Renegade pulls out his switchblade, stabs his father, and throws him into a trash compactor— along with his mother and the dog creature called Whookowski, and some kid who carries around a fancy flashlight with a beam that only goes out about four feet.

And thus ends the Indiana Jones movies with a franchise-spanning climax!
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[tmlindsey]

Doesn't sound any worse than most of the recent Disney/Lucasfilm/Marvel stuff.

Maybe now that the Marvel VFX people have voted to unionize they'll stop farting out so much "content".
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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?"

[Bud Brewster]

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The Disney Movie Empire now makes so many movies that they do manage to get some of them right!
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[Bud Brewster]

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Well, I decided to waste the last few hours of December 25th by watching Indiana Jones and the Franchise that Went Right Down the Drain.

Astonishingly enough, the first twenty-five minutes skillfully shoots the rest of the movie in the foot by giving us a terrific action segment that features Nazis, special effects, great John Williams music, and a miraculously "de-aged" Harrison Ford, doing everything just exactly like Indiana Jones did in the original film!

But from then on, this is one long and bitterly disappointing excuse for an action movie. It has absolutely none of the imagination, humor, excitement, and cinematic skill of the previous movies, even allowing for the steady decline of the sequels untl this one hits rock bottom!

Sadly, this proves that Lucas and Spielberg are even less able to make good action movies than poor Harrison Ford is when comes to portraying Indiana Jones.
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[tmlindsey]

The problem with all of the new Disney installments of existing franchises is that they lack heart. It's obvious that they are only made as cash grabs that hope to ape the originals enough to somehow reignite the magic and restart a money machine for them.

Sadly, not many filmmakers are able to create magic in their films anymore (IMO). Too many corporate directives to appeal to focus groups and pander to minority demographics to allow for risk-taking and true creativity. The sad attempt to appear progressive and inclusive, and trying to please everyone seems to usually end up pleasing almost no one.

Add to it the whining of the fickle and ageist nature of much of the younger audience who love something one minute then hate it the next and studios will never be able to please them.

I recently read that the director of this film said that the original ending didn't involve time travel, but was just a rehash of the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. So he changed it. I'll at least give him props for trying something different with the ending.

Now get off my lawn!
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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?"

[Bud Brewster]

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If the studio had given us a complete Indiana Jones movie with a "de-aged" Harrison Ford and several of the beloved characters from that first movie, this film would have raked in more dough than Paramount has made in in the last 20 years!

This franchise is still adored by the public, and the technology now makes it possible to "turn bacK tim:e. They could have given the fans the movie we all yearned for in the 1980s!

Instead of that, we got a lame movie in which an aging Harrison Ford embarrassed us all with a grim reminder that all our days are numbered!
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[tmlindsey]

[Bud Brewster]

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Tim, I can't argue with a single thing you said in your posts — even your reason for suggesting that an Indiana Jones with de-aged actors would not please today's audience.

And brother, you were preachin' to the choir when you said this!

[tmlindsey]

I think this movie could have worked if it was better written, better cast and better directed. I think they tried to highlighting Indy as being a relic, if you will, and a symbol of the outgoing ideals and morality of the past, but the whole thing lacked any real sense of fun or adventure. Maybe because we all knew this was the last one before even seeing it?

I don't know what John Rhys-Davis' level of interest or ability was in being more involved, but it should have been a proper send-off with all of the gang (those who survived) along or along the way. Short Round should have been involved to some degree just to tie it all up with a bow. Shorty could be a professor himself now with a gung-ho young relative who gets involved and leaves the door open for a spin-off for an Asian-led adventure franchise. Like Jackie Chan's early work; action, adventure and comedy.

But, hey! this one had lots of CGI 'splosions and car chases and carefully market researched characters and elements
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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?"

[Bud Brewster]

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Tim, your suggestions for ways to improve this movies are wonderful! Your criticism of the poor way John Rhys-Davis' famous character was treated is terrific. I agree completely!

Your suggestion about including a grown-up Short Round are equally good — along with a young relative who idealizes his learned ancestor. Brilliant!

I don't understand why All Sci-Fi has more talented "idea men" than those over-paid bozos in Hollywood!
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)