ALL SCI-FI

[Bogmeister]

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__________________ Starcrash (1979) trailer


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STARCRASH aka The Adventures of Stella Star aka Female Space Invaders



starring MARJOE GORTNER * CAROLINE MUNRO * DAVID HASSELHOFF

co-starring JOE SPINELL * ROBERT TESSIER * NADIA CASSINI * HAMILTON CAMP (voice of Elle) and CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER as the Emperor * Directed by LUIGI COZZI




An Italian cash-in to the Star Wars phenomenon, featuring a female smuggler of outer space, Stella Star (Caroline Munro) and her partner/navigator Akton (Marjoe Gortner). Stella doesn't get to indulge in her illegal activities very much in the film; she's drafted into a special mission by the Emperor of the universe pretty quickly.

The FX range from poor Harryhausen imitations to bad matting, cheap model work and the visual artists also seemed to have taken too much inspiration from Christmas lights in their depiction of outer space. Red, yellow, orange, blue, pink, purple stars — all the colors of the rainbow!



Due to the central female protagonist, this also recalls Barbarella] (1968), though Stella remains quite chaste during the film.




This does have a quick pace in spots. Early on, Stella is sentenced to life in prison and a couple of minutes later she's already staging an escape. She goes on a mission to find a hidden weapon and the Emperor's son (David Hasselhoff), accompanied by space policemen Thor (Robert Tessier) and robotman Elle (like the letter 'L').

Yes, Thor . . . some of this suggests mythological components. (Remember, Harryhausen.) Besides some of the FX creations (like a cheap female version of the giant Talos from Jason and the Argonauts), we also see a hologram of the Emperor who comes across as a Greek god, like Zeus, towering about 10 feet tall.

(How'd Plummer get involved in this? The Italians must've made him an offer he couldn't refuse, eh?)



The dialog is very cheesy and somewhat charming. For example:

Stella: "We Made it!"

Akton: "Not Quite! Look! A Neutron Star!"

The main villain is Count Zarth (Joe Spinell), who is always making threats and laughing that evil laugh ("I will be the Master of the who-o-o-o-le Universe!").



Marjoe Gorton's character, btw, reveals new powers every 10 minutes or so, including the ability to see the future . . . but he can't reveal anything, since there are rules, hokay? Another Jedi law we were not aware of?

This becomes very derivative when the lightsaber duels are included — there's no doubt anymore as to what the filmmakers are ripping off. But Munro is very watchable, and I can't help but grudgingly admire the energy & earnestness of most of the actors, including Gortner, who remains upbeat even as he knows he's doomed — that's a good attitude, by the cosmos!

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The location work on a snow planet was OK. This moves to different locales quite a bit. There's a lot of stuff here — Amazons, creepy cavemen — and some of it actually is fun, with Stella showing off some martial arts. There's no lack of action, resembling a frenetic sixties Italian sci-fi goof-fest.



It does get quite ridiculous by the time of the big space battle near the end, when soldiers in special missile containers are crashing through the windows of enemy ships . . . in outer space!

(No explosive decompression in this universe?)

This film may make a good companion piece to Battle Beyond the Stars (1980), though that other film is a bit more competent. I would rate that one a B sci-fi picture, while Starcrash is a C sci-fier.

BoG's Score: 5 out of 10

Munro could have had a prolific career in such low budget action sci-fi pictures, based on this. I wouldn't have minded seeing her in a few more of these. But her film career was virtually over as the eighties began. Stella..!!!

STE-E-L-L-A-A-A-A



BoG
Galaxy Overlord Galactus

[Bud Brewster]

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By the Gods of the Great Galactic Mother, YouTube has generously provided us with a fine video of this epic tale, and the picture is excellent!

The audio is terrific stereo, and the score by John Barry is surprisingly good (much better than his plodding score for The Black Hole). Some parts of it reminded me of Barry's best James Bond scores!

I believe I will download it into my ship's electronic brain and watch it while I sample some the Earth beverage I believe you call . . . beer.

I enjoy learning about the cultures of aliens beings, especially when they denounce those silly nudity taboos some backwards cultures have!





[/size]I wasn't surprised to find that Amazon had a soundtrack CD! I'm tempted to buy it.


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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[Bud Brewster]

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IMDB has several interesting trivia items for this production.
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~ The filmmakers were highly reluctant to allow John Barry to see the film, in case he decided to quit the project.

Note from me: When you're ashamed to show your movie to the composer, you should leave show business.

~ Christopher Plummer admitted that he did the film so he could visit Italy for free. In an interview, he said "Give me Rome any day. I'll do porno in Rome, as long as I can get to Rome. Getting to Rome was the greatest thing that happened in that for me."

Note from me: I visit Rome in 1970. I saw Michelangelo's statue of David in Florence. I'd gladly act in a bad Italian sci-fi movie for a free return trip.

I especially liked the tour bus that went past the Colosseum and showed us the skeleton of the Ymir.





~ Nat Wachsberger asked Luigi Cozzi to make a space opera like Star Wars (1977). Cozzi had never seen the film, but he had the novelization of the film in his library. He read this, and began working on his own version.

Note from me: If he saw Star Wars later, I'm sure Mr. Cozzi exclaimed, "Oh! They wanted something THAT good? Hell, they should told me that!"

~ David Hasselhoff got food poisoning during shooting. A production assistant in a mask filled in for a significant number of scenes. Hasselhoff also did most of his own stunts. On his first day of stunt work, he accidentally knocked out an Italian stuntman's tooth.

Note from me: Alleged this was the origin of the rumor that Italian stuntmen had notoriously loose teeth . . .

~ New World Pictures producer Roger Corman picked up this film to see if a market existed for a low budget space opera. This influenced his decision to go ahead with Battle Beyond the Stars (1980).

Note from me: When Roger Corman makes a better ripoff than you do, it's time to hang up you director's beret.

~ Christopher Plummer was paid $10,000 per day. Most of his scenes as the Emperor of the Galaxy were shot in a single day.

Note from me: They probably had Mr. Plummer come in at 6:00 AM, skip lunch and dinner, and then work straight through 'til midnight.

~ Luigi Cozzi was a huge fan of Ray Harryhausen and wanted the film to be "Sinbad Goes to Space". Caroline Munro played Marigana in The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973), and Harryhausen did the special visual effects.

Note from me: Sinbad Goes to Space is the absolute worst idea possible for a movie about the legendary Arabian adventurer. That's about as bad a moive called Skywalker Goes to Baghdad.

~ Caroline Munro had a close shave with gastric distress, which she revealed in an interview with Fantasm magazine in 1993. "In one scene, I needed the bathroom so bad I thought 'It's a good job I'm wearing a plastic suit over my bikini. If you know what I mean!'".

Note from me: "Yes, Caroline, we know what you mean. And that is the LEAST sexy mental image we could possible have you."





~ In the U.S. version, Caroline Munro's voice was dubbed by Candy Clark, who was married to Marjoe Gortner at the time.

Note from me: By gum, this is one weird connection to Star Wars! Consider this: Candy Clark starred in American Graffiti. That move was directed by George Lucas. Lucas directed Star Wars — which inspired this Italian knock off!
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)