ALL SCI-FI

[tmlindsey]

[Pow]

In the movie we see Skyler and the Stooges embark on the famous 12 Labors of Hercules with Schuyler posing as Hercules. All they're really doing is attempting to secure their freedom as slaves from the galley ship. Later when they are freed by the King, they fight the creatures in order to raise money so they can rescue Diane from evil King Odius. The King of Rhodes (Hal Smith) asks them to take care of the Siamese Cyclops, and later the Creten Bull, after which they are all freed. The cyclops was never one of the actual labors, but the bull was.

For the quick scenes in the film that we see Schuyler engage in these battles the movie resorts to using stock footage of real animals, along with Schuyler battling obvious stuffed animals. Disappointing.

What I would have loved to have seen is longer scenes with the utilization of expert stop-motion animation. And more accuracy regarding the 12 Labors.

Hercules does fight the Cretan Bull as one of the genuine Labors as so ordered by the King of Rhodes. However, I'm not thinking that even a awesomely sculpted and animated bull, even if its bigger than normal, will be all that captivating.

In Greek mythology Hercules had to take on the task of getting rid of the Stymphalian Birds. These were large man-eating creatures with beaks of bronze and sharp metallic feathers that they were able to fire like missiles at objects. Bingo! Imagine such monsters as designed by Obie or Ray and their team? They would look incredible on screen for a dramatic and action-packed sequence. The setting for these birds is a swamp, so that would only add to the suspense and tension of the scene.
Hercules was ordered to tackle Cerberus, the three-headed dragon-tailed dog who was the guard at the entrance of the underworld. Again, imagine such a creature as designed by Obie or Ray. Could be fun.

Yet another quest for Hercules was to gather the Golden Apples of Hesperides. These were guarded by the Ladon Dragon. This would be another fantastic animated scene.

I would wind up the Labors with Hercules cleaning the filthy Augean Stables. This would not require stop~motion animation. It could be done via practical special effects, model work, matte painting. Hercules achieved the washing out of the stables by rerouting the rivers: Alpheus and Peneus. Schuyler would reroute the rivers by placing enormous boulders in each of them in order to redirect their flow. It would not only indicate his enormous strength, but break up the Labors scenes by featuring one minus any animation just for a change of pace.

Another scene indicates, but doesn't show at all, that Schuyler has quickly defeated the deadly nine-headed Lernaean Hydra. Harryhausen created a magnificent Hydra for his masterpiece, Jason and the Argonauts. I would not presume to improve on this by having Ray, or anyone, have to create another Hydra. They probably could come up with something that had a different and interesting look than Ray's Hydra from Jason. But why go there?

In the film we see a poster for the Fierce Libyan Gorilla that Schuyler will be battling. No scene is done for it. Since the gorilla was never really one of the actual Labors, I'd simply substitute a drawing on the poster of one of the real Labors. It could be the Hydra, Nemean Lion, Mares of Diomedes. All could be dramatically drawn on the poster showing their savageness. This would only add to the legendary and heroic feats of Hercules (Schuyler).

Naturally, this film had neither the time nor the dollars to even consider such scenes as the ones I've described. Still and all, fun to dream about the Three Stooges Meeting Willis O'Brien, and or, Ray Harryhausen for a feature film.