ALL SCI-FI

[Bud Brewster]

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Please forgive the frequent use of the F-WORDS down below!

In fact, we start off with two F-words in a row! Fearless Frank (1967) is a comedy that turned out to be no laughing matter. In fact, I doubt the freakin' thing is worth a flip!

Next we have a failed attempt at SF called Fire Maidens of Outer Space (1956 England), which flirts with the old idea of an all-female planet. The report card for this one reads . . . (you guessed it) . . . a big, fat F.

Finally we have a fouled up mess called The Flesh Eaters (1964), which I'm sure failed to be approved by the Food and Drug Administration.

Movies like these are why certain adjectives were invented, such as flimsy, faint, faullty, feeble, fickle, fllabby, flaky, flat, foggy, foolish, frivolous, fruitless, and (last but not least) futile!

In other words, they describe things that suck!
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Fearless Frank (1967)

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A less-than-hysterical satire of super-heroes, starring Jon Voight (in a dual role) as a country boy named Frank who falls in love with a city girl (Monique Van Vooren).

Gangsters kill Frank, but a scientist brings him back to life, endowing Frank with super powers in the process. Frank becomes a costumed superhero named Fearless Frank, but the doctor's evil brother creates a superpowered nemesis -- False Frank (Voight again) to fight Fearless Frank.

Ah, but Fearless Frank turns fickle, becoming cocky and corrupt. Meanwhile, False Frank turns good!

All this sounds like fun, but it doesn't work as well on screen. Written, produced, and directed by Philip Kaufman, who directed the 1978 remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".

[Also released as: "Frank's Greatest Adventure"] ____________________________________________________________________

Fire Maidens of Outer Space (1956 England)



This is, to put it bluntly, low-low-low budget nonsense.

The crew of a mission to the 13th moon of Jupiter think they've hit pay dirt when they discover an all-female, man-hungry civilization, the descendants of the lost continent of Atlantis (who presumably developed spaceflight before sinking into the Atlantic).

The Atlantian women need men for the usual reasons, and the men think that's just fine. The highlight of the film is when the "Fire Maidens" do their ceremonial dance to a lilting rendition of "Stranger in Paradise".

Boy, I'll bet the kids who went to see this in 1956 were plum entranced by that scene, yes sir.

Alas, things are not as rosy as they first seem for our love-struck astronauts. A mutant in leotards attacks them, and the women turn out to have some strange habits.

Slow pacing and an actionless story make this one tough to enjoy. But the poster makes it look like one helluva movie! Just look as this close-up of the exciting inserts.



Starring Paul Carpenter, Anthony Dexter, Harry Fowler, Susan Shaw, Sydney Tafler. Written and directed by Cy Roth. ____________________________________________________________________

The Flesh Eaters (1964)



This independently produced shocker is low on budget and high on gore.

A group of bickering people on a remote island are threatened by the microscopic flesh-hungry amoebae-creatures that infest the surrounding ocean. The creatures act like tiny piranha, gobbling the victim right down to the bone in seconds flat.

They were created by mad scientist Martin Koslek, who lives on the island.

Sickeningly realistic makeup and mock body parts keep this from being just a cheaply-made thriller -- it's a nauseating, cheaply-made thriller. Scenes of the creatures during their buzz-saw feeding frenzies were created by pricking the negative with a needle.

Director Jack Curtis was responsible for sex films with titles like We're All Naked.
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)