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So, I went to the eye doctor . . .
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Bud Brewster
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Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2021 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

________________________________

Fans of Gilligan's Island have complained for decades about the way Mary Ann and The Professor are not listed among the characters in the opening theme song during season 1! Shocked

However, if you listen closely to the song in the video below, you'll find that Dawn Well's adorable character was indeed named in the lyrics!

The confusion, folks, stems from the unfortunate fact that the song writers were given the wrong name for Miss Well's character! The song clearly states that the list of characters who were stranded on this uncharted desert isle were as follows.
______________________________

Gilligan . . .

the Skipper, too . . .

The millionaire and his wife . . .

the movie star . . .

Ann Therest!

Here on Gilligan's Ilse! Very Happy
______________________________

And so, this decades-old dilemma is finally resolved!

Originally, Dawn Wells character was NOT named "Mary Ann Summers", as stated in the Wikipedia article — she was actually named . . . Ann Therest!

Furthermore, rumors exists today which state that Miss Ann Therest was in a Witness Protection Program which required her to hide amoung the passengers of the Minnow for three hours prior to the trial at which she would offer testimony against a powerful mob boss, concerning his nefarious activities in the international white slave market! Shocked

We also never knew that Russel Johnson's character was actually a U.S. Martial assigned to protect Miss Therest during the cruise. His code name was "The Professor" — which explains why we never hear him referred to any other way on the show! Shocked

This also clarifies why this highly trained agent was so adept at devising methods to insure that the castaways survived, and why he created ways for them to communicate with the outside world — despite the fact that his attempts did not often succeed.

As for "the millionaire and his wife", along with "the movie star", they were also scheduled to testify at the trial concerning the mob's financial matters and their connection with the Hollywood elite.

This was because the U.S. Marshals Service wanted to protect these invaluable witnesses in the hours before the trial so that the Department of Justice could use their testimony and bring the people involved in organized crime to justice for trafficking in the sale of white slaves!

But how did their plan fail? Was it actually caused by a storm which marooned the Minnow on that "uncharted isle"?

No. It was not . . .

A clever "plant" among the crew by organized crime managed to sabotage the Minnow and create that gaping hole in the hull of the boat that we see in the opening credits, stranding the castaways on the island and preventing them from appearing in Federal court!

Furthermore, this henchmen of the organized crime lords cleverly hid among the castaways and constantly thwarted their attempts to be rescued . . . repeatedly sabotaging their efforts under the guise of his bogus portrayal as a bumbling idiot! Rolling Eyes

Well all know how these saboteur is . . .

Gentlemen, I hope these revelations have given you a new appreciation for this tragically misunderstood TV series! Shocked

In view of the complete facts, it seems obvious that a reboot of this series might prove to be very interesting to the viewing public of today's TV series!

_________________
____________
Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)


Last edited by Bud Brewster on Wed Apr 13, 2022 9:31 am; edited 2 times in total
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Bud Brewster
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Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17018
Location: North Carolina

PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2021 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

________________________________

The quotes below are from three great humorist that I greatly admire. I just changed my signature to one of the quotes below. It's the perfect choice for all writers! Cool

I hope you folks will enjoy them.

________________________________

Will Rogers quotes

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

_____________________________________________

Yogi Berra quotes

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.

You can observe a lot by just watching.

You better cut the pizza into four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

It was impossible to get a conversation going. Everybody was talking too much.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

If I didn't make it in baseball, I wouldn'tt have made it workin'. I didn't like to work.

______________________________________________

Mark Twain quotes

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress . . . but I’m repeating myself.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. Share this Quote

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

There are lies and damn lies — and then there are statistics.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience. This is the ideal life.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

_________________
____________
Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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Gord Green
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote


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There comes a time, thief, when gold loses its lustre, and the gems cease to sparkle, and the throne room becomes a prison; and all that is left is a father's love for his child.
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Pow
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 2:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love it!
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scotpens
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2021 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That Martian is wearing a face mask over his eye.
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Gord Green
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2021 12:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well....He doesen't have a nose....And if insects breath through sphiricles in their legs.....Who knows where Martians breath from !!!!
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There comes a time, thief, when gold loses its lustre, and the gems cease to sparkle, and the throne room becomes a prison; and all that is left is a father's love for his child.
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scotpens
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2021 3:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gord Green wrote:
Well....He doesen't have a nose....And if insects breath through sphiricles in their legs.....Who knows where Martians breath from !!!!

Insects breathe through spiracles on their thorax and abdomen. Members of the cricket family have auditory organs on their front legs.
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Gord Green
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2021 4:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


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There comes a time, thief, when gold loses its lustre, and the gems cease to sparkle, and the throne room becomes a prison; and all that is left is a father's love for his child.
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Bud Brewster
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2022 3:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

________________________________

When I was young and innocent I often heard the saying, "Nice guys finish last."

One day I asked my wise and experienced father what the saying meant. With a twinkle in his eye, he said —

"Because, son, a considerate man will always makes sure that the lady . . . finishes first."


__________
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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Pow
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2022 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your father was a man of much wisdom, Bud.

And another terrific painting by you!
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Bud Brewster
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 01, 2022 1:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

________________________________

Ah, shucks . . . thanks, Mike. Very Happy

Unlike the other paintings of mine you've seen, this one was done in "gouache", which is just a fancy word for watercolors. The other painting of my father is done in oil paint.

But I ended up liking acrylic paints the best. That's what this one was done in. Cool




_________________
____________
Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)


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Gord Green
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 10, 2022 8:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote




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There comes a time, thief, when gold loses its lustre, and the gems cease to sparkle, and the throne room becomes a prison; and all that is left is a father's love for his child.
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Bud Brewster
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2022 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

________________________________

I can prove logically that hemorrhoids are part of an alien conspiracy. Mr. Green

Sound ridiculous? Gentlemen, please hear me out.

Ask yourself this unpleasant question: what causes hemorrhoids? Doctors claim they're caused by increased pressure in the lower rectum due to straining during bowel movements, resulting in swollen veins .

My response to that is . . . bullshit. (Pardon my French) Embarassed

If straining can cause swollen veins, then athletes would have bulging veins popping out all over the bodies! Shocked

No sir, a much more plausible explanation would be that the tissue around the anus has been strained by some . . . external pressure.

For example, during childbirth, doctors sometimes need to perform an episiotomy to widen the birth canal, and afterwards he will sew up the incision.

But what would cause that same kind of stress on a persons anus? Shocked

The answer is obvious. Alien anal probes!

Gentlemen, I submit that every single person on this planet who has a hemorrhoid has been abducted by aliens without his-or-her knowledge — and during said abduction they were probed!

But WHY, for Pete's sake, do aliens probe our poor little poop-portals when we're abducted? It just doesn't seem like the kind of thing an advanced aliens race would do! Sad

That, gentlemen, is mankind's most burning question! (No pun intended . . .)

However, the answer is as obvious as the answer to the last question I said had an obvious answer. (Folks, prepare yourselves for a shock.) Sad

Sales of the popular ointment called Preparation H totaled almost $80,000,000 annually in 2021 — and that's just the official "name brand" version. Generic versions surpassed that for the obvious reason that they're cheaper . . . and our assholes don't really know the damn difference! Confused

Okay, guys, so now stop and ask yourselves exactly who manufactures Preparation H?




The answer is . . . Pfizer, the giant drug industry who manufacturers one of the Covid-19 vaccines!



So, add those millions of dollars in the sale of the butt-grease to the other drugs Pfizer makes. What you get is an annual profit in 2021 of $81,000,000,000.

Ponder that, guys. A profit of $81 billion — that's a B as in butt — and just for a single year.

But wait! There's more! Shocked

Is all that wealth really going to an American corporation who aids mankind's struggle against medical problems like the Corona Virus and hemorrhoids?

Or is it going to aliens who caused hemorrhoids by giving us anal probes — the same aliens who might have created Covid-19 to boost the profits of companies like Pfizer?

After all, Pfizer only made $41 billion dollars in 2020 before their vaccine came out! Shocked

Wake up, people! Don't you get what's happening? The aliens are creating the markets for their products by causing the medical problems for which we desperately need the cures!

And they're using this vast fortune to fund their activities to control the human race, as well as to buy gigantic quantifies of our precious resources like platinum, diamonds, uranium!

We're being robbed, people! And we're literally paying through the ASS! Shocked
_______________________________________________

Gentlemen, if you think all my wild speculations are simply the ravings of an over-active imagination . . . I submit that they're just as possible as the bat-shit crazy rantings of the people who still support that drooling idiot who sat in the White House for four years and made the United States of America the laughing stock of the world! Rolling Eyes

Thankfully Americans can take a joke . . . so maybe they won't screw up again and elect that same joker as president in 2024.

After all, he's the idiot who encouraged morons like the guy below to storm our nation's capitol. Rolling Eyes


_________
_________________
____________
Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)


Last edited by Bud Brewster on Thu Apr 28, 2022 11:30 am; edited 1 time in total
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Bud Brewster
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2022 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

________________________________

Tonight I watched a favorite Western of mine, Chisom (1970), and I had few funny thoughts. Here they are.

The main villain is played by actor Forrest Tucker. But what if this actor's family name had been Ranger? Confused

That would mean his name would be . . . Forrest Ranger!

He'd end up type cast as a Park Service employee who spotted forest fires, like in the movie, Red Skies of Montana (1952).

And what if he had a younger brother who vanished years ago, a boy who wandered into a forest of federally owned land and mysteriously never returned?

Ironically this boys name was . . . Park Ranger! Shocked

The sad history of this family would seem to be tied to it's name. But how this is possible is very hard to explain.

_________________
____________
Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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Bud Brewster
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Posts: 17018
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PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2022 2:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

__________________________________________________

Just a brief philosophical thought.

Do all men named John feel a sense of dread every time they get a letter from their wives or girlfriends? Confused

After all, these letters will always start with the same two chilling words. Shocked


"Dear John . . . "
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)
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