ALL SCI-FI

[Bud Brewster]

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Here’s a delicious Cinema Sandwich. It includes a meaty sci-fi adventure, placed between two non-sci-fi slices of Hollywood excellence, one of which is a rib-tickling comedy, and the other is a melodrama from Ayn Rand.

You can enjoy this sandwhich with an ice cold Pepsi or several chilled beers. I think I’d have the beers with the sandwich, and the the Pepsi with a bowl of popcorn later on.



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The Seven Year Itch (1955)

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One of my fondest memories from those Saturday nights with my family in the 1960s as we watched NBC's Saturday Night at the Movies was this great comedy.

Tom Ewell's performance as an extremely imaginative man who yearns for greatness in a mundane world is absolutely inspired. His flights of fancy -- in which he lives a Walter Mitty existence -- are hilarious. In one scene he imagines his sexy secretary throwing herself at him (and throwing him onto his desk). The lovely lady was played by Marguerite Chapman from "Flight to Mars"!

In that movie, she didn't need to have a breeze blow her dress up, it was permanently thigh-high!





One of the aspects of the story I love the most is something that differs dramatically from the stage play. In the original stage play (also starring Tom Ewell) he and "the blond" actually do have sex. But the Hays office censors wouldn't allow that in 1955, so the entire flavor of the plot was transformed by this change in the story.

Ewell's character is portrayed as a man who yearns to be dashing and desirable — not as a horny guy who just wants to get laid!

As a result, the movie becomes a tale of basic human insecurity and the desire to be appreciated. Everybody on the planet can identify with Ewell's need to maintain a positive self image and to earn the respect of the people around him.

But please don't get me wrong. Ewell reacts to Marilyn like any male would — but he isn't really trying to seduce her. In fact, in the "air conditioner scene" (those of you familiar with the film know what scene I mean), Marilyn asks Tom if she can spend the night with him — and Tom suddenly gets nervous and starts making excuses!





Then Marilyn explains that she wants to sleep in his living room because Tom's apartment has air conditioning, and her apartment does not!

Tom is instantly relieved.

The fact that Marilyn is never named at any point in the story is consistent with a wild idea I've had for years about her character. Consider this:

She's insanely beautiful, but she doesn't consciously flirt or tease. Her basic nature is that of complete trust and open friendliness.

She talks about how men are constantly proposing to her — not how men are constantly trying to have sex with her. So, she inspires feelings of love, not just lust.

She accepts Ewell is a good man, and in the concluding scene she speaks from the heart about how women are drawn to sensitive, caring men like him — the very thing Tom yearns for.

In doing so, she soothes his troubled emotions and bolsters his self-image tremendously — effectively making him a much happier man.

And lastly, there's one more subtle clue as to Marilyn's true nature. She wears a lovely dress of pure white in her most famous scene — almost like she's the sexiest angel God ever made.

Conclusion: She's the sexiest angel God ever made!

She was sent to Earth to help George Bailey — oops, I mean, Richard Sherman — realize what A Wonderful Life he has!

I realize the producers of this movie made it the way they did because the Hays Code wouldn't let them portray Marilyn's character as a gorgeous sexpot whom the lonely married man bangs while his family is out of town. So, all this angel talk of mine is just based on a happy accident that resulted from the unwanted censorship that was imposed on the filmmakers.

But The Seven Year Itch is a much better movie if it's viewed in this manner — with Marilyn being heavenly in more ways than one, and Tom being noble in every way possible.

Anybody agree?

On a more lecherous note, I don't know how many photos were taken of sweet Miss Monroe with her dress blowing up, but I think this one is the sexiest.

I mean, like . . . damn . . .


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However, this one is mighty nice too, with Marilyn's dress rising up on both side to form . . . angel's wings?

My goodness. What a wonderful coincidence.


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Gentlemen, I rest my case.
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Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)