ALL SCI-FI

[Pye-Rate]

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Luxembourg is launching and testing an asteroid mining satellite. Should have been done forty years ago.

___Luxembourg's spacecraft will test its asteroid mining tech
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The road to tomorrow runs through yesterday.

[Bud Brewster]

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Okay, so that's the Science. Now let's add the Fiction!
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Saturn has this moon called Hyperion, see, and that place has more holes than all the golf courses in Beverly Hills. I mean, this rock is holier than Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John on their best day!


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For your information, it's the biggest moon around Saturn that ain't got whatcha call a "ball shaped". And just HOW big is it? Well, it just so happens that Hyperion is 165 miles long . . . which is like, way further than from New York to Hartford, Connecticut — assuming anybody would actually go to Connecticut, if you catch my drift.

What I'm tryin' to say here, sweetheart, is that we could set up one of them "colonies" there, right? (I mean on Hyperion, not in Hartford for God's sake.)

Capisce?

We make nice rooms and stuff inside them big holes, and we slap thick sheets of transparent aluminum over the lip 'a them craters to keep the air in. That would give us picture windows with a better view than Hugh Hefner gets from the edge of his hot tub when he's watching' his six favorite girlfriends splash around.

Yo, ya get the picture, Baby?. Hmmm? Hey, I bet you do.

And there won't be no worries about the sun, like you know, bakin' us out there in space the way them over-cooked hot dogs are on Coney Island, either. Ona-count'a Hyperion spins 'round once ever 13 days, and it goes around Saturn every 21 days. So, the folks livin' there will get a nice all-over tan, you might say! Heh, heh, heh.


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Now ya might think that Hyperion would be loaded with pricey ores, like your basic iron and zinc and other stuff like dat. But you'd be mistaken, my friend, 'cause guess what? Hyperion is mostly water ice! Oh sure, it's got some rock mixed in with other stuff like carbon dioxide and methane.

So, I hate to boyst ya bubble, Pal, but this place ain't no gold mine! Ya get me?

Ah, but here's the good news. All that ice and junk ain't really a bad thing. Lots of ice just means the folks who live there will have plenty of — you guessed if, Pal — water! Not to mention your basic oxygen for . . . you know, like, breathin' and stuff. And hydrogen — which, in case you wasn't aware of it — is a great fuel. Five'll getcha ten ya didn't know THAT, Professor!

And while we're on da subject, that methane's gonna come in real handy, too, 'cause when you live a place made outta ice, ya need somethin' better than a steam radiator to keep your buns warm at night!

Hey, I bet I know just what you're thinkin' right now. What do these space cadets do for a livin' while they're floatin' around in this ice ball? Well, take it from me, old buddy, they ain't just waitin' to collect their unemployment checks!

No sir, dees guys are workin' stiffs just like you and me, Buster Brown. They get up in the morning and head out for a hard day 'a mining a couple 'a big asteroids they've rounded up from the cosmic neighborhood, which they just happened to haul back to the old homestead so they can get rich diggin' out all those pricey minerals I mentioned early. That stuff goes for a nice chunk a change on the open market . . . assumin' you know the right people and got the necessary connections, 'a course.


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Naturally you're wondering what the folks do with this valuable merchandise when they're ready to take it to market. Yeah, here's where things get real interestin', ya might say. You probably think it's hard to lug all that heavy ore back to Earth, right?

Ha! Think again, Sunny Jim! 'Cause it's just as easy as fallin' off 'a log. And for the same reason, too! You heard 'a gravity, ain't cha?

Well, that's what hauls the mail in this neck a' that woods, my friend. These folks ain't no dummies. They just use a big solar mirror to melt the ore into giant cannon balls and then shoot 'em towards the sun with a gun bigger than anything Capone's boys was ever packin' — and you can quote me on dat!

When these big balls get to Earth, the geniuses on that end have robot gizmos that hook onto the balls and guide them into a big contraption called a linear accelerator, which slows 'em down so they can be melted with another solar mirror and cut into smaller chunks before they're taken down to Earth.

So, there ya go, Pal. That's how we do things downtown when it comes to mining asteroids!

Hey, you lookin' for work right now, Pal? I know a guy who knows a guy who could getcha in on this sweet deal. Make some good money, know what I mean?

And you've heard what they say about space men, right? Chicks dig 'em, cause he can take 'em 'round the world! Yo, ya get the picture, Baby?. Hmmm? Hey, I bet you do!
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[Bud Brewster]

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Science Fiction connections for these Science Facts

I seem to remember vaguely a few other movies about mining operations in space, but I can't quite remember the names. Meanwhile, here's the two I could remember. Enjoy the trailers, and feel free to discuss these movies right here or in their threads by clicking on the titles.

And add your own suggestions, too!


__________________________ Outland (1981)


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__________________________ Moon (2009)


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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)

[Gord Green]

Thar's gold in dem der hills Boys!

That's liquid gold.....no, not oil,.....H2O!

Thats water me Bucko.....drink it.....break it down with electrolysis and breath it! Then take the hydrogen and use it in a fusion reactor or spaceship engine and go get some more!!!