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Pow
Galactic Ambassador
Joined: 27 Sep 2014
Posts: 3739
Location: New York
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 Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2022 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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| I give this movie a two-letter rating: PU!. |
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tmlindsey
Quantum Engineer
Joined: 18 Jul 2022
Posts: 397
Location: NW Florida
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| Posted: Tue Aug 30, 2022 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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Well..........now I know.
The movie itself is...unusual. I don't think it's a complete dumpster fire IF you approach it as all being a kid's fever-dream. But it is still bad, and slooooooow for such a short film. This is another film that could, I think, be remade using the same basic plot and GREATLY improved.
I'm kind of surprised no one has done a direct-to-video/streaming sequel, considering how cheap it could be. The Great Guidance knows, there are plenty of CRAP movies on streaming...and SyFy.
One thing that has always burned my biscuits is everyone calling Ro-man's head a "diving helmet", which it clearly is not.
I've seen very few reviews or articles where they describe it, correctly, as a "space helmet". I know it's a minor nit-pick for a crappy movie, but it still bugs me.
In fact, I just finished watching Radar Men from the Moon for the umpteenth time prior to RM and thought "Yep, it looks like the Ro-men are using redressed Moon Man space helmets from RMFTM".
Also, Bud, neither me nor my wife can stand MST3K either. So you can enjoy exile knowing that you're not alone 
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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?" |
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Bud Brewster
Galactic Fleet Admiral (site admin)
Joined: 14 Dec 2013
Posts: 17637
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2022 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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| tmlindsey wrote: | | I'm kind of surprised no one has done a direct-to-video/streaming sequel, considering how cheap it could be. The Great Guidance knows, there are plenty of CRAP movies on streaming...and SyFy. |
A sequel . . . interesting idea. 
Well, the nice thing about this movie is that it doesn't have a story that would put any restrictions on the sequel. After all, the whole movie (except for the final scene) is just a dream the kid had after getting conked on the head. :rol:
So we have free reign to write anything we want, as long it follow the events that end the movie — which Wikipedia describes this way.
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Johnny is alive, having just awakened from a concussion-induced fever dream. Up to now, all that has happened has just been his nightmare.
His sisters, their mother, and the two scientists — whom the family met while picnicking in Bronson Canyon — rejoice at finding him. Johnny and his family invite the scientists home for dinner, which they accept.
Suddenly, Ro-Man — his arms raised in a threatening manner after having just arrived on Earth — walks out of his cave directly toward the audience.
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Well, Tim, I certainly agree with your statement below.
| Tim wrote: | | This is another film that could, I think, be remade using the same basic plot and GREATLY improved |
.
Since the "basic plot" is basically non-existent (discounting the dream, for obvious reasons), all we need to do is start the movie with a family picnic in Bronson Canyon, then have the simian in the space helmet come out the cave.
Here's my suggested plot for the sequel: Robot Monster's Big Comeback.
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The Space Ape approaches the family, who promptly scream and start throwing sandwiches and deviled eggs at him. Johnny thinks his nightmare is coming true, so he panics . . . and runs right off a nearby cliff.
Ro-Man's silently pantomimes great distress at the sight of the poor boy going over the precipice, and he quickly ignites his Atomic Anus Propulsion Unit. He soars up into the air atop a pillar of glowing fire which spews from his shaggy backside, and he zooms over edge of the cliff. He streaks straight down and grabs the kid an instant before Johnny becomes a puddle of pulp on the rocks below.
Ro-Man and the boy land gently in front of the astonished family, all of whom look amazed at the heroic rescue, even though they're holding their noses while the fumes from the AAPU drifts away, thanks to a gentle breeze.
Ro-Man takes hold of his space helmet and lifts if off — revealing a young humanoid male who bears a striking resemblance to Roddy McDowell. He greets the humans in perfect English and explains that his race has been monitoring Earth's radio and TV broadcast for many years. He mentions that his personal favorites are The Lone Ranger and I Love Lucy.
This instantly forms a common bond between the humans and the alien, although George Nader states that he prefers Amos 'n' Andy.
Ro-Man explains his three-part mission on Earth: to establish friendly relations between our world and his, and to experience the human emotion called "love" with an Earth woman. He also hopes to find a way to save Earth from an approaching asteroid the size of Russian and China combined.
After a moment of shocked silence among the humans, George Nader hurriedly shakes Ro-Man's hand and proclaims that he's now the alien's new best friend.
Johnny's attractive mother wraps her arms around Roman and lays a lip-locking smackeroo on the stunned alien, then she promises to be his Love Bunny forever if he'll quickly move on to the third part of his mission before Earth is turned into a cosmic 8-ball in the corner pocket . . .
Ro-Man agrees to address part three of his mission, and the group rushes off to the alien's spaceship, where he contacts an organization known as TBBAN-BN — The Biggest Brains from All Nations, Bar None.
Ro-Man outlines a brilliant-but-surprisingly-simply method for saving Earth. It involves using all the pollution in Earth's atmosphere as the fuel source for a planet-propelling device which will be constructed from the accumulated garbage in-and-under the world's oceans.
The device will be ignited by all the concentrated heat from global warming.
The total cost of this mammoth project, shared equally by the nations of the world, will be $78.52 — because most of it will be paid for by the billions of dollars in sunken treasure recovered while cleaning up the oceans.
The leaders of all the nations agree to the project — except for newly re-elected President Trump, who claims that Mexico should pay for America's part.
The Mexican president immediately replies with a short message to Trump. "Okay, we agree. PS: Screw you."
Ro-Man's brilliant Planetary Propulsion System succeeds, and the planet Earth wins the biggest game of dodge ball in galaxy.
The movie's happy ending shows the Earthlings waving goodbye to Ro-Man as he blasts off, accompanied by his newly acquired Main Squeeze, Johnny's lovely mother, a woman who is true to her word.
Johnny decides to go with them because Ro-Man promised to tell the boy all about the birds and the bees, and Johnny had always been fascinated by ornithology and entomology.
THE END
Man, can I write a sequel or what? 
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This movie will be followed by a second sequel, in which Ro-Man returns to save the Earth again — this time from a gigantic alien-android-rodent which arrives inside a massive sphere made of indestructible material. It lands on Earth and threatens to flatten Earth's cities as it rolls across the landscape!
The movie will be called . . .
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958) |
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tmlindsey
Quantum Engineer
Joined: 18 Jul 2022
Posts: 397
Location: NW Florida
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| Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2022 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Bud Brewster wrote: | | ...a family picnic...then have the simian in the space helmet come out the cave. |
If I had a nickle for every time THAT happened 
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"Have you never wondered what it would be like to walk between the ticks and tocks of Time?" |
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