ALL SCI-FI

[Bud Brewster]

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Today we ponder several features which ponder philosophic questions.

First of all, if man had existed back When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, would it really be possible for a lovely blond to tame one of the beast?

Second, some experts believe that prehistoric women had an anatomical feature they no longer possess. But they disagree on the exact date When Women Lost Their Tails.

And finally, was the title of a certain Sean Connery movie actually inspired by an event during which the director got drunk and slurred his words when he tried to say, "Hey, guys, I wanna do a remake a' Da' Wizzer' ZardOz," (*hic*)
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When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (1970 England)

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Four years after Hammer studios and Ray Harryhausen gave us "One Million Years B.C.", Hammer studios and Jim Danforth gave us an equally dinosaur-filled prehistoric extravaganza.

The dinosaur models are excellent, and so is Mr. Danforth's animation. Danforth tutored under Harryhausen, and "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth" is a showcase for his talents, featuring a greater variety of monsters than "One Million Years B.C.". Danforth achieves a smoother effect in his animation than his former teacher, though Danforth's work doesn't succeed quite as well dramatically.

Sometimes the dinosaurs move with such elegant slowness the viewer wonders how Danforth found the patience to make those thousands of tiny adjustments to the models.





Written and directed by Val Guest. Starring Victoria Verti (former Playboy playmate).

All the dialoged in "When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth" is unintelligible "caveman" words, a legacy it inherited from "One Million Years B.C." (1966) and its classic predecessor, "One Million B.C." (1940). For some odd reason, the word "ah-kee-ta" is used over and over in both the Harryhausen and the Danforth films. The mystery of its meaning still puzzles scholars and movie buffs alike.
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When Women Lost Their Tails (1971 Italy)

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Senta Berger is back, strutting her stuff in this weak sequel to the weak original. Both films are dinosaur-less "comedies" about prehistoric times.

According to the film's fantasy version of the evolutionary theory, women used to have tails which wagged when the female felt receptive to sexual advances. Admittedly the concept has some merit (from a purely male point of view).

Suggestion: watch the film with the sound turned down and discuss the concept with a romantic partner. Directed by Pasquale Festa Campanile.
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Zardoz (1974)



In the year 2293 life on Earth has reverted to total savagery, with virtually no technology in use. Sean Connery is an "Exterminator", a member of a quasi-religious group who, armed with modern rifles, kills everyone who procreates (!).

Connery recieves both his weapons and his religious dedication from Zardoz, a giant, surrealistic statue-head that floats down from the sky periodically to spit guns from its mouth while booming inspira??tional messages about how killing is good and sex is bad.

Connery begins to doubt the wisedom of this doctrine, so he stows away aboard a floating head and infiltrates the Vortex, the hi-tech residence of the Eternals immortal intellectuals who discover that Connery is genetically superior to them and therefore must be eliminated.

Director John Borman provides enough action to offset the sometimes confusing plot, which is loaded with symbolism and social commentary. Unlike too many sci-fi films, the future society is not so rediculously simplified that it resembles a children's story.

"Zardoz" (a contraction of "The Wizard of Oz") didn't perform well at the box office, perhaps because it worked too hard to be "intelligent" and not hard enough to be "fun".

Three years after "Zardoz" was released, "Star Wars" showed Hollywood that science fiction had a lighter (and more profitable) side.
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Is there no man on Earth who has the wisdom and innocence of a child?
~ The Space Children (1958)